Article for Debate: Scarves
Items in Red are in contention, and require discussion and approval.
We, the Men, do hereby declare that no Man shall wear or “Accessorize with” a scarf for the purpose of Fashion. Sole exception being inclement weather below 32 degrees Fahrenheit, said scarf being somber in color and utilitarian in design.
Mandated Exceptions
- Handmade scarves of unsubtle hue or design may be worn in public solely in the case of being in company with the Constructor of said scarf* but only for the duration of time spent out-of-doors.
- Festal scarves are the exception to the exception in this case, and must be worn when seen in company with the Constructor, both indoors and out, for the duration of referring Holiday.**
- Attending the Opera, Symphony, a Public Wedding or other civic event requiring full evening dress may necessitate the wearing of a scarf, in which case said scarf should be white, fringeless, and cashmere.***
- Windchill or excessive snowfall may be taken into consideration should a flag be raised.
- Exception will be made for Dr. Who impersonations for the sole purpose of Comedy.
*authority of the Constructor being conferred in this order, minimal to maximum: Other (ie: Maiden Aunt, Sister), Girlfriend, Wife, Mother, Grandmother
**see previous note on chain of authority for redress.
***see The James Bond clause
Cashmere.
While silk would be an acceptable alternative, where do we stand on satin? Too showy?
@ Secretary Fromunda
That’s a Negatory on Satin. How gauche!
I think the temperature should be increased to 40 Degrees F. Here in the Pacific North West (PNW) the combination of winter time humidity and cold create a chilled condition that a scarf resolves quite well.
That said, it still has to be purely functional - not to look cool, but so men of the PNW can dig holes, ride buses, and make fire in reasonable comfort.