Article for Debate: The Fanny Pack
Items in Red are in contention, and require discussion and approval.
We, the Men, do hereby declare that no Man under the age of 50 shall wear a fanny pack or carry a man-purse/murse.
Mandated Exceptions
Exception shall be made if said murse or fannypack contains:
- A gun
- A Knife over 3″ in length
Exception shall be made for Men in the following careers:
- Medical Technician
- Professional Sports Photographer
- Animal Trainer
- Big Cats
- Attack Dogs
- Gators
- International Courier
- Gentleman Adventurer
- Archeologist/Treasure Hunter
- Nudists
Exception: If there’s a gun in the fanny pack.
An excellent point! Exception thus Mandated.
Appendix A: if fanny pack wearing man happens to be a hipster douchebag wearing the fanny pack to be ironic, all other men and well women, pets, small kids, have full permission to beat said hipster douchebag with his fanny pack
Dude - you’d have to touch it to do that. Beating, sure, but that’s what the newspaper is for.