boo-boo
Article for Debate: Basic Emergency Medical Response
Items in Red are in contention, and require discussion and approval.
We, the Men, do hereby declare that a man should have basic knowledge of Emergency Medical Response, or at least be able to fake it well until help arrives. This includes: Basic First Aid, CPR, applying a basic tourniquet, and the Heimlich Maneuver. A Man with these important skills can easily shrug off lesser wounds himself, and give his cohort a blithe “Relax, you’re going to live, man” when he’s crying like a little girl over a minor boo boo.
Mandated Exceptions
Not everyone is cut out for First Aid. Know your limits!
- If you faint at the sight of blood, stay far, far away from accidents. Nothing says wussie like fainting.
- If you vomit at the site of vomit, FOR GOD’S SAKE MAN UP! And stay away from people that are vomiting.
Article for Debate: Band-Aids
Items in Red are in contention, and require discussion and approval.
We, the Men, do hereby declare that no man shall wear a bandage or band-aid unless physically necessary to stop bleeding, prevent infection, or as required by a medical professional. Black eyes, bruises, road rash, minor gashes or cuts shall be held in high esteem unless inflicted in a humorous fashion, in which case the Man in question shall be required to repeat the story for his peers on demand for a period of not less than 6 months after date of accident or 4 months from complete healing from said wound, whichever is longer.
Mandated Exceptions
Exception shall be made for:
- Blood, Plasma, or Marrow Donation
- Superhero Band-Aids worn visibly over qualifying wound.
- Band Aid worn to illicit sympathy or favor in pursuit of a Woman.
